Rock, Paper, Scissor

I understand that Scissor can beat Paper.
And I get how Rock can beat Scissor.
But there is no way that Paper can beat Rock!
Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile?
Then why the hell can't Paper beat Scissor the same way?
In fact srew scissors.

Why can't Paper do this to people?
Why aren't sheets of Paper constantly attacking pupils during class as they attempt to write down their notes?

I'll tell you why:
Because Paper can't beat anybody or anything.
A rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds!

When I play that game I always choose Rock.
And when someone claims to have beat me with their f*cking Paper I punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say something like:
"Oh shit, I thought your Paper would protect you"